Screwed
by Kewi11
Summary: Some random fluff between the gang... mostly S/C. There isn't a plot and every chapter is something different.
1. Food

Claire left Myrnin's office after arguing with him about things they've been over a million times. _No, she doesn't want her brain put into the computer to wipe away memories and trap people in this god-forsaken town, thank you very much. _She couldn't wait to get home, eat, and then sleep. Myrnin took a lot of patience out of her. She felt a little bad for the people on the sidewalk that she blew past without a "hi" or a "sorry for accidentally tripping you, but you're an idiot if you didn't see my determination to get somewhere." _Poor little girls selling cookies…_

Finally, she was walking through the gate into the proximity of the glass house. Halfway through the front yard, she heard Eve yell her name from behind her. When she turned around, Eve was almost caught up with her. "What's up, CB?"

"Save it. I'm starving. Michael is cooking chicken, and no more of them talking all the skin. You in?"

"Pshh. Hell yeah. So what's the plan? They guard it like their lives depend on it."

"I know."

Making an executive decision not to discuss this outside while it's getting dark, they headed upstairs to the hidden room. After about fifteen minutes, they headed downstairs to commence phase one.

Eve took Michael aside and whispered something into his ear. Claire could see that she was trying to be seductive. Michael had a small smile as Eve led him out of the kitchen upstairs. Now it was Claire's turn.

"Hey," Shane turned to Claire when she walked up next to him while he was mixing the mashed potatoes.

"Hey," She returned with a devious smile.

"What are you up too, because that smile right there," He lightly poked her mouth, "is not a good one."

"If you must know, Eve is in the midst of screwing Michael."

"Umm… ew? Gee thanks for that." Shane looked back at what he was mixing with a look that said, _yeah my girlfriend's crazy. That's cool…_

Claire hit Shane on his arm. "Not like _that_. I mean he thinks he's getting that, but he's not."

"Explain."

"Well, she has him up in the hidden room right now, thinking she's changing into something for him, while she sits in her room ordering crap off the internet with his credit card. She says it's an early Christmas gift or a late birthday present. Whichever you prefer. Though there is one crack in her plan…"

She turned with an amused expression, "And what would that be?"

"He can easily just get out of there, catch her, and cancel all her orders before they've had a chance to be processed," Claire made a fake pouty face, "and I was going to get new shoes."

Shane sighed, "What do I do?"

_Yes. _"Aw! Thanks!" She kissed him quickly and led him upstairs explaining what he was supposed to do. Passing Eve's door, she tapped it once and continued on.

When they opened the door, they heard Michael call, "Eve?"

"You wish, dude." Shane said.

"I do. What are you doing up here? Where'd Eve go?"

"I will only answer that if you tell me that you are fully dressed." Shane held Claire back from walking up the steps.

Michael made an annoyed sound, "Of course I am, what the hell?"

Shane led Claire up. "Should we tell him what Eve is doing, Claire?"

"Hmm… I think this would be just that much better if we waited a little longer." Claire said looking at Shane.

"I think you're absolutely right, Claire." He said sitting on the couch that Michael deserted. He pulled Claire onto his lap. They spent about ten minutes answering all of Michael's questions vaguely. He was getting pissed.

Claire sighed. "Just tell him, Shane."

"Aw, and this was just starting to get a little fun." He frowned at Claire. She stood by her statement. "Fine. Michael, you're girlfriend, well not for long, is buying shit with your bank account. Gotta love the brains on that girl. Not. Looks like I picked the right one, though there wasn't really much of a choice. I wouldn't have picked Eve even if she was the only one here…" Shane kept going on to himself as Michael was on his way down the stairs. "Looks like someone forgot that the button to get out is all the way up here. Oops!"

"Open it!" Michael yelled.

"Tsk, Tsk. Someone forgot their manners. Cough, cough MICHAEL!"

Michael was coming back up the stairs when Eve opened the door. She saw Michael running back down to her. "Uh, oh." She turned and ran, forgetting about Michael's super-human powers, he caught her. "I swear I didn't do it! You can check your account."

"Whatever. You owe me anyway." He called while descending the stairs, Shane following him. Eve turned and gave Claire a thumbs up. They ran into Eve's room, locked the door, put in a movie and began eating the food Eve jacked from the kitchen. Skin, mashed potatoes, the whole damn chicken. When it came to Eve and pranks… ask, and you shall receive.

About a minute later, the guys were running up the stairs. "What the fuck guys? Were the hell is all the food?"

Claire and Eve burst out laughing. "Fuck." Claire heard Shane say before he hit the door.

"Nice one Shane."

"What are you talking about? You're the one that let Eve get you up there!"

"Says the one who _joined their damn team and wouldn't let me OUT!"_

"Boys, boys. Calm yourself. We'll give you what's left when we're done like you so kindly do to us." Eve said through the door.

"At least we've got last night's chili." Shane said.

"Ehhhh. Sorry!" Eve called.

"The chili? Really Eve? Damn you to fucking hell!" Shane yelled back. "You too Claire!"

"Looks like Claire's not going to get any for a while." Michael said.

"I wouldn't worry about it. He needs it more than I do," Claire said.

"Probably…" Michael said under his breath.

After watching a movie, They called the neighbor over and threw down most of what was left of the chicken for their dog. The skin was totally gone, and a little more than half the mashed potatoes were also gone. "Michael, Shane! We've got food for you!"

"Damn. Finally." Shane ran up, grabbed the food from Eve, "Bitch."

"Hey! I saved you a leg! You should be thanking me!"

"Fuck off!"

"Someone's PMSing…" Eve said turning to Claire.

"I wouldn't take it personally. He turns into a two year old with a wide vocabulary when he doesn't get fed when he's supposed too." Claire stated.

Claire went downstairs to kill some zombies. _Hey, don't knock it till you try it! _She picked up a controller and started playing when someone took it out of her hands. She turned around to protest, "Hey! What are you doing?"

"Only depriving you of what you really want… it's only fair that I return the favor." Shane replied.

"Aw Shane! Are you still upset about that time I said no when you wanted to _you know_ because I was tired? I think you should let that go."

"No. you took my food." Claire melted with that face he gave her. He looked like a little 5 year-old who dropped their ice cream cone.

"Come here," She opened her arms and gave him a hug. "It's okay. I think you'll survive." She pulled back to look at him, "Can I play now?"

"No." She kissed him. "How about now?"

"No," he said again.

She kissed him longer this time, and he kissed back. "Please?" She asked sweetly.

He kissed her again, "Only if I get to be player one." She smiled, "Deal!"

After about five minutes, Claire was losing. She pressed pause and turned to him.

"Oh come on!" He turned to give her an annoyed look. She went to sit on his lap. Leaning her head back onto his chest, she said, "I'm tired."

"Just finish this game, first. Please!"

"Okay." She hit resume, still in his lap, and right when he was about to kill the last zombie to win, she hit his arm making his aim go off target. She took the opportunity to kill the last zombie to win.

She turned around to kiss him, hoping to distract him from her obvious cheat.

They continued kissing for a while, and when they finally came up for air, Shane breathed, "Cheater."

"I'm sorry." She gave him her best puppy dog face.

"Hmm… I _think_ I still love you. But after everything you've put me through today, I donno…"

She hit his arm and leaned into him. He face was buried in his chest, "Will you be happy if I say that I have some skin left over from dinner hidden in my room?"

"I'd be ecstatic." He lifter her off his lap and headed for the stairs. She grabbed his arm to stop him. "On one condition," She said.

"And what would that be?"

"You have to watch the movie that_ I_ want to watch tonight."

"Sure. Now can we move?" He pulled Claire up the stairs to her room.

She went to her dresser and pulled out the leftovers she'd hidden in there, giving them to Shane.

"I love you." He said taking them from her hand and jumping on the bed.

"I know!" She laughed and joined him, turning the TV on.

He looked at her with a serious face. She felt him staring and turned, "What?"

"I'm serious. I really do love you."

She smiled and leaned into him, "I love you too."

"By the way, if you ever decide to hold out the food for three hours and eat the good stuff, I won't be so nice about it."

"Hey! I saved you skin!"

"Ooo! Claire gets a gold star! Good job! Maybe we can hang it on the fridge…"

"Shutup!" And he did, once _A Walk to Remember _started.

So this was just something I wrote because I honestly don't think there are enough stupid stories like this that don't have a plot line on fanfiction. I don't there ever will be. There may be more chapters but I don't know. If there are, they won't be up fast. I'm not one of those type of writers who has a new chapter up every week… sorry! (Though I love the ones who are like that) Hope you enjoyed this!


	2. Laser Tag

So this is another random somewhat fluff, chapter. It has nothing to do with the first chapter, but that is what my story is all about. Random chapters. I hope you like this and I hope you have the heart to review, good or bad Enjoy!

"I'm home! I'm so sorry to keep you all waiting. I can't imagine the agony you guys went through without my presence—shut it Shane!" Eve yelled as she walked through to the kitchen.

"Conceited?" I asked and looked over to Shane who was in the midst of a zombie game.

"Hell yes." He replied, not taking his eyes off his game.

I continued watching Shane kill nasty dead things flying at the screen with half their body's torn off and the other half decaying. Eventually, I got up and went to retrieve a coke. When I came back, Eve had taken my chair and Michael took the other spot on the couch. "Thanks Eve, love you too."

"Awh, Claire-Bear! You can sit on my lap." Eve's baby voice repelled.

"Um, pass? Shane, move over." I motioned for Shane to make room in between himself and Michael, but he wouldn't move.

"How about my lap?" He offered.

"Again, I repeat. Pass. Now move that lazy ass over!"

"Feisty… I like it." He grinned as he scooted.

"Listen up!" Eve yelled. "Campus coffee store is closed tomorrow, Shane doesn't have work, Claire doesn't have school, and Michael doesn't work."

"Hey." Michael said.

"You know what I mean. Your job is recording CDs; that isn't an everyday 9-5 job. Anyway, we have to do something."

"Actually, Claire and I have plans." Shane said, pressing resume.

"We do?" I asked.

"Don't you remember? You wanted to go somewhere, so I said I'd take you there."

"Oh, yeah! Eve we're in. Shane just wants to beat his game. I guess he only has a few levels left. I really don't want to spend my day watching that."

"Understandable." Shane said, after his victory yell for completely a level. He saved his game and turned it off to give us his full attention for once.

"So what are we doing?" Michael spoke up.

"This is what I was thinking. So Morganville finally decided to open something cool. Laser tag! We are totally going tomorrow!"

Shane was quick to reply, "I'm in! You guys are screwed." He got up to go get food from the kitchen.

Michael got up to follow him, "Are you high? Laser tag is my specialty." They continued arguing into the kitchen.

Eve turned to me, "Wanna know the best part?"

"Enlighten me."

"So I was driving by there yesterday, and damn. Those guys looked HOT. I can't even imagine how good Michael's gunna look."

"Is that why you called Shane's work and said that he needed the day off tomorrow? Because when I went to eat there today during his break, his boss came and told me that 'my wish was granted and I could have my man tomorrow to do as I please.'"

"Yeah his boss is sort of a creeper. At first, he said no, so I told him I was you. As you see, it worked." She said with a huge smile.

"Eve…" I sighed, walking upstairs.

"Shane! Claire! Get your asses out of bed and down here right now!" Eve yelled from the bottom of the stairs.

"You know, if we don't go she's just going to come up here and drag us down there."

"Mmmmm," He groaned and put the pillow over his head.

"you know, if they leave without us, you won't have you chance to whip Michael." I said going to my dresser and pulling out jeans and a t-shirt. That forced him to at least react. "Ugh. Fine. Give me 5 minutes." He got up and stretched. I was looking for socks that matched when he left my room and went to the bathroom.

When Shane finally came downstairs he had bedhead, jeans, and a solid white shirt. Putting his wallet in his back pocket, he turned toward us. "We goin or what?"

"Shotgun!" Eve yelled, jumping from her chair and out the door. Michael shook his head and grabbed the keys off the counter.

When we got there, the line to pay was short. There weren't a whole lot of people here.

"That would be $16.96" The admissions person said to Shane. Shane handed him a $20, gave me my wristband and guided me through the gate. Michael paid for himself and Eve and they followed us.

We got suited up and headed into the war. Shane and I made a game plan; Michael and Eve did the same. Eve was jumping up and down and wasn't paying much attention, too excited to start the game to listen to him.

"Come on Shane? This is so not fair. I can't work with this." He said gesturing to Eve pretending to shoot him.

"Hey! I told you that you needed a new girlfriend, but you never listened…" She responded, obviously relishing in the fact that I wasn't like Eve.

"Asshole." Eve flicked him off before turning somewhat serious and attempting to listen to Michael.

"GO!" The announcer yelled, signaling the start of war.

"You go that way and take down Eve. I've got Mikey." Shane whispered to me as he headed off into the other direction.

I started turning the corner, going all ninja, when I saw Michael. He turned and spotted me, but before he could shoot me, he was shot. _Nice save, Shane_. I thought, until I saw Eve squealing. "I got one! Michael! I hit someone!" She was jumping up and down. Michael turned around to face her. "Oh," she stopped jumping, "Oops."

Michael had to wait a little until he could proceed. "GO EVE!" He yelled, warning her that I was coming after her. Her confused expression vanished as she saw me charging toward her. She turned and ran, attempting to create a confusing path for me to follow. She failed due to her screams. I was turning a corner when she ran into me, both of us tumbling toward the floor. "What the—" I started. I shifted my focus and saw Shane aiming his gun at Eve. "NO!" She screamed as he shot her.

Just then, Michael came running past and shot me, never stopping. "Damn." I said through clenched teeth. "Don't worry. I got him." Shane said as he ran off in the direction Michael ran off in.

The game continued in this way, but Shane and I won due to Eve's stupidity.

"That was totally all Eve's fault. No offense, Eve." Michael said while we were taking a break.

"Whatever." Eve said as we left to go get chips. When we returned, they informed us that we were playing Shane and Eve against Michael and me. We were ready to begin the game and Eve and Shane were to move to the other side of the field, but Shane pulled me aside right before he left. "If you plan on asking me to blow the game for you, you're going to be quite disappointed." I informed him.

"I just came to tell you that when I shoot you, it's out of love."

"Liar."

"Good luck!"

"Yeah right." I said as I turned and walked to where Michael was standing. "Game plan." He said as I approached.

With Shane and Eve out of earshot, he told me the plan.

I was weaving out from wall to wall through the field. When I spotted Eve, I aimed and got her. She never saw me because I continued on my hunt for Shane. I saw a red lazar hit right next to me. _Crap. _It looks like he found me first. I took cover and found where the lazar had come from.

I spotted him crouched on top of a wall. He eyes were on something in the other direction. _Michael._ I heard Michael curse. It looks like I'm on my own. I aimed for Shane, but missed. He turned saw me and jumped from his position. To run was my first thought, but my body acted too late. I saw him turning the corner by the time I started to move. _I can't outrun him,_ I thought. _THINK._

He was behind me now. I tripped on my own foot and went tumbling into the floor. I grabbed my ankle and started moaning in pain. "Oh my god! Ow!" I cried.

"Shit!" Shane yelled as he ran to my side to see how bad it was. "Are you okay? Can you walk? Where does it hurt?—"He kept rambling until I grabbed my gun and shot him. "Bitch." He mumbled.

"You know I love you, but I just have to say… We won!"

"You mean you won. Michael didn't make one shot. He's gunna get a hell of a lot of crap now. You're okay, right?"

"Oh. Yeah, I'm fine." I said getting up.

"Cheater." He said following me to the front.

"You're just mad you lost."

"I would have beat you had you not have done that."

"I know. But I did do that; therefore, you lose!"

"Yeah, yeah. Enjoy it while you can. It's girls against guys next. You're totally in for it."

"We'll just see about that."

Review please!


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